would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
