Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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