well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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