you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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