Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
