remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
