He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
