just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
