1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
