So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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