Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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