The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
