Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
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Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
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