hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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