No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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