I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
These tits shall not be calmed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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