his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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