Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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