Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
