u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
