The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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