i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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