Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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