Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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