Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
