all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
