i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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