Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
