Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
