i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You took a bar mat shot.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
