All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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