I'm lost and stupid without you.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
