I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
