He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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