Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
