Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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