i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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