using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
