I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
