dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
