I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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