You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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