I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize