she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Are we still banned from the library?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
