GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
