playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
