so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
