my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
