Midget sex pt 2 tonight
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
