So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
