i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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