guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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