worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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