I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
