if i died would you start the facebook group?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
