Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
