fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
