You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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