There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
