I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
