First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we're so committed to being not committed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
