You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize