what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
