i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
