But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
