quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
